Missed Connections- Valentine's Day Edition

I admit it. I read the missed connections section on craigslist. It's a fantastic form of entertainment. The posts cover all the genres- humor, horror, romance, etc. Despite Valentine's Day falling on a Monday this year, I imagine the missed connections section of the site will be overflowing with hopeless romantics. I'll be posting the ads that I find the sweetest, funniest and/or creepiest. Perhaps I can help someone find their long lost lover or just the girl they didn't have the courage to hit on at the grocery store. Fingers crossed for some quality postings!



CREEPY/FUNNY:

We work next to each other all day at the office.... - m4w - 30 (Pittsburgh)
Date: 2011-02-14, 4:00PM EST

We work in cubicles near each other all day and everytime I get a chance I steal a glimpse of your ass as you stand up or your breasts as you lean back into your seat. I want nothing more in the world than for you to stay late one day, you always leave early, and have you get on your knees and crawl slowly to me where you would take me in your warm mouth and suck me till I'm drained. If you think this is you reply with the name of the place we work as the subject of the email and I will treat you very very well this weekend.


ROMANTIC... OR NOT:

Beautiful thick girl working at North Hills Adult News on McKnight Rs - m4w - 30 (McKnight Rd)
Date: 2011-02-14, 5:45PM EST

I've gone in there to get serviced in the adult arcade part of the store a few times and noticed you working there, a couple of times you had a friend in there, also thick and chocolatey, talking to you while you worked. I would do anything and I mean ANYTHING for you to join me in the back room the next time I come in there. And if you are too shy or on the clock, this offer is for your friend as well.


LADY LOVE:

Cecilia, Customer Service, Whole Foods, Pittsburgh - w4w
Date: 2011-02-14, 12:13PM EST

Dear Cecilia,

Would you consider having tea with a female CMU student?
I am twenty-seven, health-conscious, and I have a pleasant face.
I consider myself to be a fair and tolerant person.

Thank you.