Sexy Witches

A few years late to the Coven but this was hilarious! Of course, I love all things witchy but this transcends the genre. Halloween week is upon us!

Because It's The Weekend

Get More: Comedy Central,Funny Videos,Funny TV Shows

Loved Reno 911! Love Wendi McLendon-Covey!

Recently Purchased

1. Kate Spade, Things We Love.
I bought this book as a gift to myself for my birthday and I'm so happy that I did. It's a charming read and will make for a beautiful piece of coffee table/bookshelf decor for many years to come. Most of the things the brand lists in their book is something that I also love.

2. Kate Spade Decorative Candles. "Escape The Ordinary" & "Light Up The Room".
I got a fantastic deal on these adorable pieces. I haven't burned them yet because they're just too pretty! When the wax is done these will make beautiful containers for pens or other odds and ends. Love them!

3. Orofluido.
I got a sample of this in a beauty box and was instantly drawn to its luxurious packaging and warm vanilla scent. It leaves my hair feeling great so I decided to purchase the full size with a gift card.

4. Macadamia Natural Oil Deep Repair Masque.
The same thing happened with this product as the Orofluido. I received a sample in a beauty box and loved it. It hydrated my hair so wonderfully and left it feeling and smelling so rejuvenated. I don't like to spend a lot on hair care so I used a gift card on this as well.

5. Airline Ticket.
Booked my flight to Europe! I'm so looking forward to exploring new parts of the world and having a phenomenal time with the girls! England, Scotland, France, Netherlands & Belgium, here we come!

6. Too Faced Candy Rose Blush.
I bought this as a birthday/early Valentine's Day treat to myself. The packaging was just too cute to pass up. The product itself is also dynamite. Definitely recommend.

7. Too Faced Chocolate Bar Palette.
My Mom got this for me for my birthday. The colors blend wonderfully and the palette is actually made from real chocolate so the scent is an extra bonus. I'm a sucker for creative packaging so I was really thrilled to get this into my collection. If Willy Wonka had a makeup line, this would be one of his best sellers.

8. Valentine's.
I love writing out little cards and making treat bags for my family, friends and coworkers. I miss the good old days when there was Valentine's Day parties at school. They were always so much fun. I'm perpetually single so I like to celebrate Valentine's Day as a chance to show my love for all of the people (and animals) in my life.

9. Stand-up Comedy Tickets. Chelsea Handler/Amy Schumer.
Two of my favorite comediennes! I'm so looking forward to reading Chelsea's new book and seeing her perform again (it's been a few years). Amy Schumer in March is also going to be a riot. I've never seen her live but from what I've previewed online, she's hilarious. It'll be a fun girl's night out for sure! Having drinks with friends and lots of laughter is one of my favorite ways to spend an evening!
















Now Playing: "Passage" by Exitmusic
*If you're not familiar with this song, click here.

Quoteworthy

“There's something to be said that if everyone likes something there's gotta be something fucking wrong with it on some level. Unless it's ice cream.” 
-Marc Maron











Now Playing: "First Cool Hive" by Moby
*Yes, I just watched Scream.

Quoteworthy

"What exactly is the free world, anyway? I guess it would depend on what you consider the non-free world. And I can't find a clear definition of that, can you? Where is that? Russia? China? For chrissakes, Russia has a better Mafia than we do now, and China is pirating Lion King DVDs and selling dildos on the Internet. They sound pretty free to me. Here are some more jingoistic variations you need to be on the lookout for; "The greatest nation on Earth; the greatest nation in the history of the world"; and "the most powerful nation on the face of the Earth." That last one is usually thrown in just before we bomb a bunch of brown people. Which is every couple of years." 
-George Carlin 1937-2008












Now Playing: "Just Ain't Easy" by The Allman Brothers

Quoteworthy

"Life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves."
-Bill Hicks 1961-1994














Now Playing: "Can't Pretend" by Tom Odell

Farewell to The Office

In honor of one of my favorite television shows (which airs its series finale tonight), here are just a few of the all-time best moments!








































Now Playing: This

A Glimpse At My Future

This is myself in about 60 years. Don't believe me? Check out these posts I made back in July 2011 and June 2012, declaring my love for "Runaround Sue" by Dion. I will be that little old lady! :)

via Dlisted

I strongly feel that Michael K. from Dlisted.com is the most prolific comedy writer of our time. I know... "Celebrities are stupid!" and "Who the hell cares about their lives?!" but Michael K. makes me laugh like no one else on the interwebs. If I have to read about things like how Justin Bieber's 19th birthday party was ruined, I'll suffer through the details to reach the inevitable laughs that Dlisted.com provides. It never fails to crack me up. I present you with this eloquently stated post on miss Taylor Swift:

From The "Duh, Bitch" Files: Taylor Swift Is Terrified Of Being Alone

Because Anne Hathaway is off taking an extended vacation at Hedonism in Jamaica with her true love Oscar and at least one insufferable twat needs to work our last nerve at all times, Taylor Swift is still talking to magazines about the dumb shit that fills her brain on a daily basis. In case you didn't already know from the fact that Taylor Swift is a country mannequin robot who can't function unless a barely legal white boy is holding her hand, she tells InStyle UK (via DM) that at the age of 23, she is terrified of dying alone. The humorless Precious Moments figurine got all melodramatic when she spit this out to InStyle:

"What I worry about is that I never want to end up kind of a self-centred, vain human being (Ed. note: TOO LATE, BITCH!). My fears circle around me making the wrong choices and messing this up for myself. I don’t wanna end up being awful and intolerable (Ed. note: see ed. note above). Alone. Laying in a marble bathtub by myself, like sad, with a glass of wine just complaining that my life ended up alone because I pushed everyone away because I thought I was too good to hang out with anybody. The typical Hollywood sad cliché of the poor lonely starlet with no one because she put up all these walls and didn’t trust anyone. That’s my fear. And that’s why I live my life the way I live my life because I’d so much rather feel everything than end up like that."

If Taylor's life nightmare does come true and she does push everybody in her life away (by shaming their asses in a song, of course), then she'll have to push away a whole lot of people, because she says that she has at least 20 good girlfriends. She would. 

"'I’m a girls’ girl. I have guy friends but the problem with having guy friends is, like, I always get linked to them and they’ll end up in a slideshow of people I’ve apparently dated on the internet. I mean, there’s all kinds of complicated things with having guys as friends. If they have a girlfriend who doesn’t like you or things like that. So I have like two or three guy friends. A select few. But I have like 20-25 really good girlfriends."

It takes me weeks upon weeks upon weeks to get together with just one good friend (and that's after both of us have canceled a million times), so I'd probably be as nuts as Taylor Swift if I had to go through that 25 times over. I already have to keep up with my own life, my dog's life, my family's life, the lives of all the dumb bitches on all the reality shit shows I watch and I'd also have to keep up with the lives of my 25 good friends?! Sweet Brown ain't got time for bronchitis and I ain't got time to deal with 25 good friends.

This is why Taylor Swift and I will always live on separate universes. She'd rather be surrounded by 25 good girlfriends and I'd rather be lying in a marble bathtub (read: an acrylic shower/tub combo) by myself with a glass of wine (read: a plastic tumbler full of that boxed wine from Target) in my hand. 

Taylor thinks that becoming a regular Norma Desmond is a bad thing and that sounds like a dream to me.

 Now Playing: See.SZA.Run EP by SZA

LOL: This... Everything About This!

Flick Pick: Celeste & Jesse Forever

I've been wanting to see this movie for some time and finally had the chance. I definitely recommend it if you're into offbeat romantic comedies. It would be the perfect rental for Valentine's Day. The entire cast is excellent.

 

I have to say that the music selections were fantastic. Celeste & Jesse Forever automatically scored points with me for including this magical number...

"Baby" by Donnie & Joe Emerson

That song gets me every time. I seriously am in love with it.

Celeste & Jesse are now among my favorite on-screen couples; along with another Jesse... and Celine. FYI: I can't wait to see Before Midnight this year! If you love romance/appreciate good dialogue but haven't seen Before Sunrise or Before Sunset, leave this blog right now to watch both!

Flashback Friday: Thank You For The Illumination

Crank Yankers! The show that featured actual prank calls as visualized through puppets. When I was in high school, I loved this. Brilliant material!

Crank Yankers
Get More: Comedy Central,Funny Videos,Funny TV Shows

Missed Connections: Breaking Amish Edition

Per usual, I've regularly been perusing the best reading material online; the Craigslist Missed Connections. Lately, there just haven't been any posts worthy of sharing... until I came across this one. The dry spell has been broken:

Now Playing: "Minds Awake" by Rumspringa
*Obviously

Funny Bone

I've seen Anthony Jeselnik on a few Comedy Central roasts. First, he cracked me up. Then, I found out he's from Pittsburgh. Obviously, I'm smitten. Humor is absolutely necessary when it comes to the opposite sex. As a way of showing my love, I usually tease the people I care about. It's so important to have a shared sense of humor and outlook on the world. I have a fairly sarcastic, dark, twisted one. I can't think of too many things that are off limits or that I'm offended by. If a guy doesn't have the funny gene or doesn't "get" my humor, it's a deal breaker. But as the saying goes, if you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything. 

Now Playing: "Ecstasy" by jj

*Definitely one of my favorites!

Pittsburgh Dad Goes to Kennywood!

I've been waiting since the beginning of summer for this video! Hilarious! Anyone who grew up in Pittsburgh, going to Kennywood, will love and appreciate this one!

If you've never heard of Kennywood, it's one of the oldest and finest amusement parks in America. Check it out if you're ever in Pittsburgh during season!

Missed Connections: Chipped Chopped Ham Edition

CLICK IMAGE TO ENLARGE!

The best Pittsburgh missed connections post I've ever read:

Now Playing: "Love Interruption" by Jack White

Found on Tumblr

I live for moments when I find something that's just funny to be unbelievably hilarious! Case in point, this .gif set made me laugh so hard that I had tears in my eyes and couldn't catch my breath (such a good ab workout, by the way). There's just something about it...

Found on Tumblr

I don't care if this is real or not. lol!!!



Now Playing: "A Sunday Smile" by Beirut

Justin Timberlake as Bon Iver, Blue Ivy Carter and more...

I don't really watch SNL because frankly, I rarely find their material funny but this skit is actually good. I'm a big Bon Iver fan (if you haven't noticed already), so I really enjoyed Justin Timberlake's portrayal.

Mr. Sparkles