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Sometimes, I feel like I'm the only girl I know
without an iPhone. The perpetually frustrated chick at the concert whose mobile
isn't qualified to take a respectable picture of the hot lead singer. The
social outcast at the restaurant who can't get her meal to look appetizing from
the lens of her CrackBlackBerry Storm. The oddball millennial who
doesn't own a single app to distract herself with while sitting in traffic.
First World problems can be devastating.
You see, without an iPhone or a very similar device,
there can be no Instagram. And without the intent to Instagram, why even bother
taking that unworthy snapshot? Posting a picture without a filter is social
media suicide. Didn't you know? Photographs without filters are illegal on the
better sectors of the web. Pictures lacking a faux vintage hue are being
shunned from the Twitterverse. Under penalty of law, natural pictures are
banished to a dark, lonely realm of the internet, otherwise known as MySpace.
Facebook is also becoming more progressive as it, too, is trying to abolish
pictures that keep it real.
Filters have the power to transform a grey sky to
blue, an unattractive girl into a model and your cat into a mythical being. It’s
no surprise that it’s so popular. Who wouldn’t want to project the false image
of having things in their life better than what they truly are? It’s only
American.
Despite having skin as white as snow and a penchant
for virtually talking to the birds, I have yet to take a sizable bite out of
the poison Apple. My laptop is a PC. I lost my iPod somewhere inside my house
years ago but didn't bother to find it. I buy records at the thrift store and at
Christmas time, I turned down the suggestion of an iPad as a gift (I'd rather
have the cash). I'm sure there's a bevy of other cool Mac products that my life
is lacking but I don't care enough to find out what they are. I just haven't
joined the tech cult. The thought of waiting in line every few months for the
latest release that is unmistakably the same as its predecessor is laughable.
I'll stick with the dwarfs and their modest approach to living- at least for
the short term (pun intended).
Conversely, I've actually had a touch screen smart
phone since approximately 2004; well ahead of anyone else I knew. Wherein my
technology growth stunt lies, is that I get complacent. In the twelve years
that I've owned a cell phone, I've only had four. Change usually doesn't go
over well with me. Being adaptable is particularly difficult when you seem to
have signed your cellular contract in blood. That's secretly what the red check
mark on the Verizon logo symbolizes.
While I may not be the most modern girl on the net, I
am learning the lingo. #NoFilter will eventually be a hash tag that I can use
without a sarcastic undertone. By my estimates, when I finally do get an iPhone
(sometime in the very near future, hopefully), Instagram will likely be
obsolete. In its wake, all hipsters will be using the latest platform. This
time around, I won't be left behind. I'm following the overexposed light. If
you'd like to follow me, I'm @KristaRoman. I can't promise anything worthy of a
RT.
Now Playing: "Nothin' But Time" by Cat Power
